INDIA FAMILY STORIES
These are stories written by families who have
adopted through ICIA. Enjoy the adoption journey
through the eyes of other families!
My name is Lynn and I am a single woman. I went through ICIA for all 3 of my adoptions. My first daughter came home at 12 months because that was 16 years ago and it was MUCH faster back then. My second daughter came home at 21 months and was also very quick. My last daughter was 2 ½ when I accepted her referral but we had a long wait when the orphanage’s license expired. It took a year for them to get renewed and another year for the paperwork. She came home at 4 years old. She was older and very prepared for her new family. She had been told she was getting a momma and 2 sisters. She didn’t stop smiling the day I picked her up in DC. All children, no matter the age, go through an adjustment time. It can last from a few months to years. It really depends on the child and how the family reacts to the child’s adjustment. I had read an awesome book called Toddler Adoption; the Weaver’s Craft. It gives all sorts of scenarios and the way the parents reacted. It stresses to take the child back as far as you can towards infancy. You need to do a lot of holding and touching. I would rock my second daughter (came home at 21 months) every time I gave her a bottle or put her to bed. She could not look me in the eyes at that time. It was just too intimate for her. It took her 8 weeks before she could look me in the eye while I was holding her or giving her a bottle. She also had many grieving tantrums. She would cry uncontrollably and could not be comforted. That lasted 2-3 months. Looking back, I should have just held her through those fits but I didn’t. I cried along with her instead. My last daughter came full of life and ready for a new family. She had some difficult times the first 4 weeks. When she would have her grieving fits, I held her. She would kick, bite, hit and scratch me but I held on. They would last for 30 min. minimum. At the end of her fits she would just melt into my arms and hold on for dear life. She was always very cuddly afterwards. She is very smart and inquisitive. She started kindergarten 9 months after coming home. She was at the bottom of the class academically, now she is in the top group. All that growth plus she had a new language to learn! I would adopt another child under 7 in a heart beat! They remember what they came from and really appreciate what you do for them (once the attachment has gotten a firm grip). Enjoy and good luck. Lynn
Hi,
Although we were well into our 40’s, we felt God calling us to adopt. We already had three children, but one had already left for college and the others were busy teenagers. We couldn’t imagine our house without children, and we wanted to make a difference in the life of a child.
We hadn’t planned to adopt an older child. We began our journey thinking that we would adopt a baby from Vietnam. We felt that adopting an older child would be risky, so we requested a baby. After waiting for over a year, Vietnam became closed to foreign adoptions. We thought maybe we just weren’t meant to adopt, and gave up for a while. Adoption was still in the back of our minds, though, and while surfing the internet one day, I came across Lori’s website. This was going to be my last attempt at adoption. If this didn't work out, we would accept that it was part of God's plan. I contacted her and by the next day, we saw the first photo of our daughter. She was 4 years old, and immediately became out daughter even though it took 9 months to be able to bring our daughter home.
Lori was wonderful to work with. She was very helpful and encouraging throughout the adoption process. When it was time to go to India, she gave us detailed directions, without which we would have been lost!
Traveling to India was an adventure and we are feel it was very important for us to experience our daughter’s culture and see the orphanage.
When we first met our daughter, she ran to us saying, “Mommy, Poppy!” She had seen our picture and had been anxiously waiting our arrival. She is a very intelligent and loving child. She spoke barely any English, but we had no trouble understanding each other or bonding. She is a joy to everyone. God has blessed us so much, and we encourage anyone who is hoping to adopt to consider India, but not without Lori’s help!
Shari
Written 12/2010
The Gift
In January of 2009, I looked in the mirror and I said, “Are you crazy!?” The full impact hit me--we were about to add two “older” children to our family! This is the question I asked myself several times over the next few weeks before the arrival of V, age 7, and S, age 3. I realized that I was going through the same feelings that I had just before my first child was born. Why did we do this? Were we ready for this challenge? Why did we adopt? We had two biological children. We had the perfect family. We had a son, age 12, and a daughter, age 8. Why would we want to change our family? Friends would ask me if we were afraid of bringing in two children that we did not know. The answer was, yes, at times we were afraid. At other times we were stronger and trusted God to work things out.
So why did we adopt? I do believe that God put a burning desire for this in our hearts for a very long time. We had even looked into adoption before our first child was born. It seemed as though we were not going to be content until we had actually given an orphan a home, our home. After much prayer and decision making, we decided we would proceed with the adoption of siblings. After all, the more the merrier, right? Now that the adoption was about to take place, our family would be forever changed. We would have four children instead of two. There is nothing like doing things in doubles!
These two little children have shown us the ability of the human spirit to overcome adversity. They have brought our family back to the basics: love for family, the desire to do good for others, and the benefits of enduring difficulties together. It is difficult to get upset if we can’t get a parking place at our favorite restaurant, when a child sits in our car who was hungry for the first 4 years of his life. He was willing to use the first dollar he earned in America to buy onions and potatoes for our family meal. When our doctor appointment is at an inconvenient time, we are thankful that we are able to take our children to the doctor at all, as this was not possible for them in their early lives. It is hard to worry about fashionable clothes when our son tells us that his sister never even had any clothes until she went to the orphanage.
Our plan was to bring these two children into our home so we could give them the gift of a loving family and a secure home. We thought we could teach them to love and give them all they had missed out on. We learned through observing our beautiful, adopted children that it is the fatherless and the homeless who have acquired true wisdom.
These two young children came into our home with open hearts. They had no one to love them, yet they loved us unselfishly. They did not own one possession, yet they were willing to give all. They have had a sorrowful past, yet they are full of joy. We are told “thank you” for such simple acts as giving them a hug at night and food for their meals. It is the children who have taught us, and loved us, and given us much that wehave missed out on.
V and S are completely trusting in us to care for them, love them, and guide their hearts. So, who has been blessed? The children? No, it is our family that has been blessed. We have received true love, undefiled, and total trust of two little hearts. It is our family who has received ‘The Gift’.
Sheila
********
Hi,
My name is Jennie. My husband and I adopted a 4 year old little girl from India almost 1 year ago. ICIA and Lori helped us with our adoption. I cannot thank Lori enough for her encouragement and kind words through the whole process. My husband and I have two boys and were ready to have another child. We had tried to conceive for a year, with no luck and then had several miscarriages following. We both wondered if we were suppose to look into other options for bringing a child into our family. That led us to international adoption. There was not a country that I or my husband felt drawn to, accept the second that I read the word “India” on the internet and saw that it was an open country for international adoptions. I knew that moment that our child was there in India. That led me to Lori and ICIA. I felt right away that ICIA was the right fit for our family.
Our daughter was a waiting child ready to be adopted. I received her picture and could hardly see her through all of my tears. It all made sense when we saw her. Our last year of heartache was all for the purpose of us finding our daughter. She was breathtaking and she was ours! We started the entire process that next morning. We had no idea how we were going to financially handle the process. We are not wealthy people and had no extra money. But I had heard time and time again about families that did not have the money for an adoption and God would provide exactly what they needed. We committed to the adoption and then told all of our family about what we had decided to do. We knew that we could do the homestudy but then we might have to stop until we had saved enough money for the next step. We had started the process of applying for adoption grants that are out there and we were ready to do whatever it took. Within two weeks, after telling the people in our lives of what we were doing, we received every penny we needed. People in our lives wanted to be a part of bringing this little girl home. Not only had God provided for the adoption, but for the additional room we were going to have to add on to our home, because we needed a girls’ room now! It was unbelievable and we were absolutely stunned. We got to move ahead with the process as it came and did not have to wait on anything. We sent our Dossier paperwork to India and got our approval. Then we waited. It was one of the most emotional times in our lives, but worth every second.
In the meantime, my husband and I got pregnant with another little girl. We could not have felt more blessed . We were going to go from a family of 4 to a family of 6 in no time. My husband traveled to India to pick up our daughter. We chose for him to go early and to visit our daughter in the orphanage, until the court granted us guardianship. He was there for a month and half. I gave birth to our baby and then 10 days later my husband arrived with our other little daughter. That was some moment at the airport when my husband got to see his new baby and I got to see our daughter we had grown to love so much in the last 8 months. The whole family was finally all together!
Our little girl has adjusted so well. We were ready for all of the problems that can come along with adopting and we have been so surprised by such a smooth transition it has been for her. She bonded with me immediately and the other kiddo’s loved her instantly. Through this whole process we have grown to understand that this was not just adding another member to the family, but also giving a home to a child that otherwise would not have one. God called us to take this little girl into our family and love her. We cannot wait until he calls us again to care for another one of His children.
Jennie
Hi,
My name is Jennie. My husband and I adopted a 4 year old little girl from India almost 1 year ago. ICIA and Lori helped us with our adoption. I cannot thank Lori enough for her encouragement and kind words through the whole process. My husband and I have two boys and were ready to have another child. We had tried to conceive for a year, with no luck and then had several miscarriages following. We both wondered if we were suppose to look into other options for bringing a child into our family. That led us to international adoption. There was not a country that I or my husband felt drawn to, accept the second that I read the word “India” on the internet and saw that it was an open country for international adoptions. I knew that moment that our child was there in India. That led me to Lori and ICIA. I felt right away that ICIA was the right fit for our family.
Our daughter was a waiting child ready to be adopted. I received her picture and could hardly see her through all of my tears. It all made sense when we saw her. Our last year of heartache was all for the purpose of us finding our daughter. She was breathtaking and she was ours! We started the entire process that next morning. We had no idea how we were going to financially handle the process. We are not wealthy people and had no extra money. But I had heard time and time again about families that did not have the money for an adoption and God would provide exactly what they needed. We committed to the adoption and then told all of our family about what we had decided to do. We knew that we could do the homestudy but then we might have to stop until we had saved enough money for the next step. We had started the process of applying for adoption grants that are out there and we were ready to do whatever it took. Within two weeks, after telling the people in our lives of what we were doing, we received every penny we needed. People in our lives wanted to be a part of bringing this little girl home. Not only had God provided for the adoption, but for the additional room we were going to have to add on to our home, because we needed a girls’ room now! It was unbelievable and we were absolutely stunned. We got to move ahead with the process as it came and did not have to wait on anything. We sent our Dossier paperwork to India and got our approval. Then we waited. It was one of the most emotional times in our lives, but worth every second.
In the meantime, my husband and I got pregnant with another little girl. We could not have felt more blessed . We were going to go from a family of 4 to a family of 6 in no time. My husband traveled to India to pick up our daughter. We chose for him to go early and to visit our daughter in the orphanage, until the court granted us guardianship. He was there for a month and half. I gave birth to our baby and then 10 days later my husband arrived with our other little daughter. That was some moment at the airport when my husband got to see his new baby and I got to see our daughter we had grown to love so much in the last 8 months. The whole family was finally all together!
Our little girl has adjusted so well. We were ready for all of the problems that can come along with adopting and we have been so surprised by such a smooth transition it has been for her. She bonded with me immediately and the other kiddo’s loved her instantly. Through this whole process we have grown to understand that this was not just adding another member to the family, but also giving a home to a child that otherwise would not have one. God called us to take this little girl into our family and love her. We cannot wait until he calls us again to care for another one of His children.
Jennie
********
Hi,
I hope our story will be helpful to someone considering embarking on the journey of adoption. My husband and I were married in 1990 and in 1995 we started trying to get pregnant. That did not happen and after a few inseminations we realized that we wanted to adopt. Of course at that time we had no idea how we would reach that goal. A few years passed and we had the opportunity to foster a child in 1998 and upon having to send him back after a short time we knew that we were not cut out for the heartbreak of having children come and go. We wanted a family of our own. Time passed and months turned into years and while watching Adoption Stories one day I saw Lori's story. When my husband arrived home from work that evening I had him immediately watch it and then we went out the door to run some errands. We stopped at a restaurant for dinner when we were finished shopping and to our surprise there sat Lori and her entire family. We knew that was a sign and we were supposed to go through her agency. Just as we were getting ready to start the process a series of events put things on hold for what would turn out to be 3 more years. In January of 2007 we were finally ready to begin the process and had chosen India as the country we were going to adopt from. We had set in our minds that we were going to adopt a little girl but Lori had referral papers for a little boy. Now looking back we are so happy and couldn't imagine our lives without our son, Jack. ICIA (Lori) was fantastic in guiding us through each and every step of the process. Lori answered all my questions and if I e-mailed her once I e-mailed her a hundred times but she was always patient and kind in her response. Anyone who is strongly considering foreign adoption I have this to say to you, “Patience.” The process is not perfect and there can be what seems to be delay after delay but you eventually have your beautiful child at home with you and it is all worthwhile. India is different from the states and there is no set timeline for each and every adoption. Frustrating oh yes to say the least but life is not perfect and for me I had to trust that God would make everything happen when it was supposed to. I am thankful for all the things that fell perfectly into place at just the right moment to align us with our son. I traveled over to India in January 2008 to bring Jack home and the trip couldn't have gone better. Culture shock yes but a trip I would not trade for anything. It was a true gift to be able to see where Jack lived for the first part of his life. Lori prepared me ahead of time with information covering every single aspect of my trip. If I didn't have all that information on hand it would have been frankly a scary trip but thanks to Lori she had all my bases covered and everything went smoothly. The worst part for me was the long plane flight and travel time coming home was over a day. The waiting for court dates and all the seemingly endless paperwork have actually faded into a fond memory and part of an incredible journey. ICIA (Lori) is a great agency that I recommend to anyone wanting to adopt. You are treated with a personal touch and she makes a daunting process bearable and is always there to encourage you!!! You will not get lost in the shuffle or be treated like a number which is quite refreshing nowadays. Jack has been home now for almost 7 months and we have enjoyed every minute of it. He adjusted so easily and is the most beautiful little boy we have ever seen although we tend to be completely biased on that issue and frankly anything related to Jack. Our adoption was finalized in July just six months after my trip to India and what a relief for him to be officially our son. We plan in the near future to start a second adoption for a little sister for Jack and without a doubt will be using Lori/ICIA. She is a true angel!!! Lori, thank you seems so inadequate for the miracle that you made happen. Jack is the light of our lives and we are so honored to be his parents.
Paul, Laura and Jack
******
My name is Virginia. When my husband, Kyle, and I got married, we already knew adoption would be part of our plan for building a family.
International adoption has been a dream of ours for many years. For me, the call began when I was in college, babysitting a little girl adopted from China. I used to stare at her, silently praising God for rescuing her from the streets and bringing her into the safety of her loving home. Since that time, when I dreamed about my future family, I prayed that God would give me adopted children, even if that meant not having biological children.
After only two years of marriage, we felt ready to adopt, but we weren’t sure where to start. Thankfully, God led us to a church community where adoption is celebrated. Some friends at church had already adopted two precious children from India, and God had provided most of their adoption expenses, so we started asking questions. We knew we couldn’t fund an adoption ourselves, but surely God would provide for us as He had for them. We just had to take a leap of faith.
As we explored our options, it became clear that an adoption from India would be the best fit for our family. We signed on with Lori Bollman at Island Coast International Adoptions. Lori was (and still is) so encouraging and honest in every step of the process.
We received a referral two months later. We were thrilled and stunned! Here was this file and photograph of a beautiful, four-year-old girl. We had a choice. Did we want her? Of course we did! Did we have faith that God would provide the means to bring her home? Sort of. We needed some encouragement.
We found the encouragement we needed through fellowship with other adoptive and foster care families within our community. Many of these families had already adopted one or more children. They all have unique stories. They have completed the piles of paperwork. They have waited, with their hearts in their throats, to hear news of their adoptive children. They have been through the disappointments. They weren’t surprised or discouraged by delays in the process. They understood the significance of each step of the process, and wanted to celebrate with us. We knew it was no coincidence that God had placed us in such a community at such a time.
With encouragement from friends, we started the fundraising process. We strove to raise the funds we needed. We shamelessly asked friends and family for donations, and we participated in fundraisers galore. But you know what? It turns out we were right about not being able to fund the adoption on our own strength. Only God could do that, and He did. The funds came in through unbelievable, amazing, and humbling channels. Our faith has grown so much through this process, and our passion for adoption is stronger than ever.
God has shown us, through providing the support we needed to adopt our daughter, that adoption really is His perfect plan for our lives. T really is our daughter, and God is responsible for bringing her home into our family and His family.
T was probably about seven years old when we were finally able to go to India and bring her home. Since she has been home, we have seen how perfectly matched she is for our family. Her musical inclinations, her sense of humor, her love of animals, her interest in learning and devouring books, her spunky personality...all signs point toward destiny. And everyone says she even LOOKS like me! How likely is that?! We are so thankful and so humbled by God’s perfect plan to redeem a broken world.
Adoption is a picture of God’s love for us. We fully believe that God has allowed us to go through this process in order to give us a glimpse of His never failing love for us. He really did seek us when we were strangers. He really will love us no matter what. As believers in Him, we really are forgiven our sins and made perfect in His sight. When God looks at us, He sees our brokenness and loves us anyway. Without Him, we would all be orphans.
Praise be to God, who promises:
“Do not fear, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east,
and from the west I will gather you.
6 I will say to the north, Give up,
and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”
Isaiah 43:5-7
Hi,
I hope our story will be helpful to someone considering embarking on the journey of adoption. My husband and I were married in 1990 and in 1995 we started trying to get pregnant. That did not happen and after a few inseminations we realized that we wanted to adopt. Of course at that time we had no idea how we would reach that goal. A few years passed and we had the opportunity to foster a child in 1998 and upon having to send him back after a short time we knew that we were not cut out for the heartbreak of having children come and go. We wanted a family of our own. Time passed and months turned into years and while watching Adoption Stories one day I saw Lori's story. When my husband arrived home from work that evening I had him immediately watch it and then we went out the door to run some errands. We stopped at a restaurant for dinner when we were finished shopping and to our surprise there sat Lori and her entire family. We knew that was a sign and we were supposed to go through her agency. Just as we were getting ready to start the process a series of events put things on hold for what would turn out to be 3 more years. In January of 2007 we were finally ready to begin the process and had chosen India as the country we were going to adopt from. We had set in our minds that we were going to adopt a little girl but Lori had referral papers for a little boy. Now looking back we are so happy and couldn't imagine our lives without our son, Jack. ICIA (Lori) was fantastic in guiding us through each and every step of the process. Lori answered all my questions and if I e-mailed her once I e-mailed her a hundred times but she was always patient and kind in her response. Anyone who is strongly considering foreign adoption I have this to say to you, “Patience.” The process is not perfect and there can be what seems to be delay after delay but you eventually have your beautiful child at home with you and it is all worthwhile. India is different from the states and there is no set timeline for each and every adoption. Frustrating oh yes to say the least but life is not perfect and for me I had to trust that God would make everything happen when it was supposed to. I am thankful for all the things that fell perfectly into place at just the right moment to align us with our son. I traveled over to India in January 2008 to bring Jack home and the trip couldn't have gone better. Culture shock yes but a trip I would not trade for anything. It was a true gift to be able to see where Jack lived for the first part of his life. Lori prepared me ahead of time with information covering every single aspect of my trip. If I didn't have all that information on hand it would have been frankly a scary trip but thanks to Lori she had all my bases covered and everything went smoothly. The worst part for me was the long plane flight and travel time coming home was over a day. The waiting for court dates and all the seemingly endless paperwork have actually faded into a fond memory and part of an incredible journey. ICIA (Lori) is a great agency that I recommend to anyone wanting to adopt. You are treated with a personal touch and she makes a daunting process bearable and is always there to encourage you!!! You will not get lost in the shuffle or be treated like a number which is quite refreshing nowadays. Jack has been home now for almost 7 months and we have enjoyed every minute of it. He adjusted so easily and is the most beautiful little boy we have ever seen although we tend to be completely biased on that issue and frankly anything related to Jack. Our adoption was finalized in July just six months after my trip to India and what a relief for him to be officially our son. We plan in the near future to start a second adoption for a little sister for Jack and without a doubt will be using Lori/ICIA. She is a true angel!!! Lori, thank you seems so inadequate for the miracle that you made happen. Jack is the light of our lives and we are so honored to be his parents.
Paul, Laura and Jack
******
My name is Virginia. When my husband, Kyle, and I got married, we already knew adoption would be part of our plan for building a family.
International adoption has been a dream of ours for many years. For me, the call began when I was in college, babysitting a little girl adopted from China. I used to stare at her, silently praising God for rescuing her from the streets and bringing her into the safety of her loving home. Since that time, when I dreamed about my future family, I prayed that God would give me adopted children, even if that meant not having biological children.
After only two years of marriage, we felt ready to adopt, but we weren’t sure where to start. Thankfully, God led us to a church community where adoption is celebrated. Some friends at church had already adopted two precious children from India, and God had provided most of their adoption expenses, so we started asking questions. We knew we couldn’t fund an adoption ourselves, but surely God would provide for us as He had for them. We just had to take a leap of faith.
As we explored our options, it became clear that an adoption from India would be the best fit for our family. We signed on with Lori Bollman at Island Coast International Adoptions. Lori was (and still is) so encouraging and honest in every step of the process.
We received a referral two months later. We were thrilled and stunned! Here was this file and photograph of a beautiful, four-year-old girl. We had a choice. Did we want her? Of course we did! Did we have faith that God would provide the means to bring her home? Sort of. We needed some encouragement.
We found the encouragement we needed through fellowship with other adoptive and foster care families within our community. Many of these families had already adopted one or more children. They all have unique stories. They have completed the piles of paperwork. They have waited, with their hearts in their throats, to hear news of their adoptive children. They have been through the disappointments. They weren’t surprised or discouraged by delays in the process. They understood the significance of each step of the process, and wanted to celebrate with us. We knew it was no coincidence that God had placed us in such a community at such a time.
With encouragement from friends, we started the fundraising process. We strove to raise the funds we needed. We shamelessly asked friends and family for donations, and we participated in fundraisers galore. But you know what? It turns out we were right about not being able to fund the adoption on our own strength. Only God could do that, and He did. The funds came in through unbelievable, amazing, and humbling channels. Our faith has grown so much through this process, and our passion for adoption is stronger than ever.
God has shown us, through providing the support we needed to adopt our daughter, that adoption really is His perfect plan for our lives. T really is our daughter, and God is responsible for bringing her home into our family and His family.
T was probably about seven years old when we were finally able to go to India and bring her home. Since she has been home, we have seen how perfectly matched she is for our family. Her musical inclinations, her sense of humor, her love of animals, her interest in learning and devouring books, her spunky personality...all signs point toward destiny. And everyone says she even LOOKS like me! How likely is that?! We are so thankful and so humbled by God’s perfect plan to redeem a broken world.
Adoption is a picture of God’s love for us. We fully believe that God has allowed us to go through this process in order to give us a glimpse of His never failing love for us. He really did seek us when we were strangers. He really will love us no matter what. As believers in Him, we really are forgiven our sins and made perfect in His sight. When God looks at us, He sees our brokenness and loves us anyway. Without Him, we would all be orphans.
Praise be to God, who promises:
“Do not fear, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east,
and from the west I will gather you.
6 I will say to the north, Give up,
and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”
Isaiah 43:5-7
